***
Harry had never been happier, which seemed almost wrong considering the current events of the wizarding world. Voldemort was back in power. Cedric crumpled before him in his dreams every night, or visions of the serpentine eyes of the dark wizard frightened him into wakefulness. Yet somehow, despite his less than restful nights, his summer days were the best he had ever had, thanks to Professor Lupin and Sirius taking him in for the holiday. Even if some things seemed a bit out of sorts, like how there were only two bedrooms, but when he got up for a glass of water after being woken by another nightmare, no one would be asleep on the sofa downstairs. He shrugged and put his thoughts aside, Professor Lu--Remus. He had to get used to calling him Remus, no matter how many times he attempted to call him Professor. Remus was quickly becoming a second godfather to Harry, and... that was it. He certainly wasn't as smart as Hermione, but at time, he certainly could put things together. Sirius and Remus were most definitely a couple.
Not that Harry minded. He quickly buried thoughts of kissing Ron the same way that he imagined Sirius and Remus must kiss when not around him. Besides, Ron was unequivocally property of Hermione's these days anyway, whether Ron knew it or not. His thoughts settled back onto the much safer course of Cho, and he settled down at his desk in the guestroom, and began a letter to Hermione and Ron, who were planning to visit tomorrow.
***
Remus sighed. There were some times he really wondered what he saw in the overgrown child that was known as Sirius Black. For right at the moment, he was holding up a pair of gold lame briefs and needling him to try them on.
And he was claiming it was for a movie. What on Earth would Muggles think up next, if this was for a movie?
Sirius held up a pair of matching gold boots and smiled in his sickeningly ingratiating way.
Remus groaned.
***
"HARRY!"
Sirius's voice echoed off the stairs and walls of the tiny flat that he, Remus, and Harry shared quite comfortably. He heard the thumping gait of the young boy, and waited for him to make his appearance at the top of the stairs.
"Yes Sirius?"
"Ron and Hermione are planning a visit tomorrow, right?" He waited for Harry's confirming nod.
"And Ginny as well."
"The more the merrier, I always say. I have just the thing for us to do once they get here. We're going to see a movie..."
***
"Rocky Horror Picture Show? I think I know of it-"
"Of course you do! You're Hermione Granger! Is there a bleeding thing you don't know?" Ron interrupted, and earned himself a glare from Hermione, and an elbow to his ribcage from his sister.
"Yes, Ron, there is a 'bleeding thing I don't know' and that's how your head manages to stay attached to your body despite its incredibly light weight." Hermione shot right back. Harry smirked at Ron, thinking to himself that it was only a matter of time before one of their arguments ended up with Ron getting snogged and not knowing what the hell had just hit him.
"Ooh, Ron, she's got you there." Sirius laughed outright at the poor boy's expression, while Remus indulged him, really only thinking about the tiny briefs that Sirius was going to make him put on and strut about in public. There were times that he really wished he could be a bit more dominant.
Oh god. A gay werewolf in gold lame briefs. How had he sunk this low?
***
Sirius was in his element. This was a scheme and a night of fun worthy of the Marauders, all right. Hell, getting Moony dressed up alone was worth about a million Galleons. "OK, people. Tonight, is a very special night. We'll be going out on the town, with the Muggles, to see a show at the cinema. As I already told you, it's called Rocky Horror Picture Show, and apparently it's got quite the following. But really, the best thing about it is, is that you get to dress up and take things and throw them about during the show. Now, Moony and I are going to get dressed up, but the lot of you don't have to. If you want though, we can can always conjure up some costumes, since I know what they're supposed to look like."
"Erm, Sirius, what exactly would these costumes... look like?" Harry asked, a bit afraid of the slight gleam he caught in his godfather's eye, and also the unusual paleness to Remus's face. Remus flashed him a quick, but entirely unreassuring smile when he saw Harry looking at him with concern.
"Moony, if I might borrow your wand for a flash?" Remus gave him a warning glare, which Sirius returned with another ingratiating smile and a whispered promise of, "I'll make it up to you, I promise." Sirius then snatched the wand from his hand, and much to his dismay, promptly turned Harry into a saxophone wielding Eddie, Ginny into a top hat and sparkle clad Columbia, and unsuspecting Ron and Hermione into the pair of lovers Brad and Janet. The four gasped looking down at themselves. Hermione and Ginny tried vainly to cover themselves up a bit in front of both of their respective crushes, while Ron started turning an interesting shade of purple.
Harry however, turned to the two men. "Why am I more afraid of what you're wearing than I am at facing Voldemort again?"
Ron let out a strangled cry at the mention of the dark wizard, but Sirius merely laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "My boy, never let anyone tell you that you aren't the smartest devil of the bunch. Give me and Moony here a tic to get dressed, and you'll see what you have in store." With that, he handed Remus's wand back, and grabbed him by the hand, dragging him up the stairs to get changed.
The four left downstairs could do nothing but pick at their costumes and blush. Harry was left to wondering what exactly was going on upstairs...
***
"You're going to scar those kids for life, you do realize that, don't you?"
"Ah, Moony, you've gotten old! This will only loosen them up, you know! Do them a world of good." Sirius grinned and tossed the briefs at Remus, landing them precisely on his head. Remus was left to glare out of the hole for one of his legs to go. Sighing, he gingerly pulled them off his face, and held them up.
"I think these are going to do the most damage of all." Remus swore that if Sirius's grin got any larger, the rest of his face would disappear. He paused. "Wait, Pads. Who exactly are you going dressed as?"
Sirius turned from where he was starting to get undressed. "Why, anything less than the Doctor himself would be an insult to everyone involved on this momentous occasion." Sirius held up the fishnet tights. "You always did like me in black, didn't you?"
Remus swallowed hard and looked down. Well, there was no way he was going to be able to fit into the bloody things in this condition. He looked back up.
"I'll take that as a yes." Sirius advanced on him quickly, knowing they didn't have much time.
***
"What's taking them so long? Won't we miss the movie?" Hermione asked, always conscious of being on time.
Ron squeaked again, still vaguely purple, although now resembling a slightly calmer blue. "You actually want to go to this movie? In public? Like this?!"
Hermione took a deep breathe, thinking of the fact that maybe, in this setting, Ron might actually notice her. "Well, it is common for people to dress up for this movie, Sirius said, so we won't be so out of place."
Ron slumped against the couch again. "Nutters, all of you, completely and totally nutters."
Harry tried to smile reassuringly. Hermione nodded at him, and Ginny's face started turning colors much like her brother's when she saw that Harry was looking at her. "Yes," Harry thought, "This will be quite the adventure Sirius promised."
***
"They're a bit snug Sirius."
"They're supposed to be. You don't see my outfit being very loose either, do you?"
"I suppose not," Remus started with obvious reluctance. He was a bit skinny for this get-up.
"Trust me, you look fabolous. Let's go, the kids will be waiting. And we don't want to disappoint them now, do we?"
"No, Pads, that would just be horrid of us." Remus was getting mighty sick of that too-wide smile that had taken up permanent residence on Sirius's face. Perhaps it was time to consider a little payback. But what exactly would be the ultimate retribution? As Sirius dragged him back downstairs, Remus began his plotting.
***
Sirius reflected. The looks on the kids' faces when he and Moony had come downstairs was absolutely priceless. But he swore he saw the hint of understanding in Harry's eyes after he had teasingly slapped Moony on the behind to get him to lighten up. Perhaps it was time he had the talk with Harry... it would certainly make it easier if Harry already suspected something, since currently he was at a loss as to how to broach the subject. Also, he had known Moony long enough to see the spark of a beginning plan in the other man's eyes, and he knew he had to be on the lookout for a coordinated attack against him, since Moony was bound to enlist some help from Harry.
God, he hadn't had this much fun in ages.
***
In the pale flickering of the light from the film, after Ron had finally ceased in his endless questioning about how Muggle cinemas worked, and Hermione had finally grabbed his hand in an effort to make his mouth stop moving, Harry thought that this was perhaps the best way to spend a night. Certainly, the film itself was enjoyable, but not the best part about it. The people with him were his family. He smiled as he noticed that Hermione still held Ron's hand, and both were staring at their entwined fingers as if this could be the something that changed everything. He nudged Ginny on the other side of him, and gestured with a nod of his head to the googly eyes that Ron and Hermione were making at each other. Ginny giggled a bit, and he smiled at her. He really never had given her much attention before, but she really was quite pretty.
Everything was coming together. And that wasn't even to mention the way he was watching Sirius's fingers walk across Professor Lu--Remus's thighs.
***
"You really should stop that. They'll see." Remus was beginning to have an issue with his briefs again.
"It's dark." The whispered words were breathed against his ear. Yes, definitely a problem with the briefs. And then inspiration struck.
"Siri."
"Yes?"
"I have a bit of a dare for you."
Sirius grinned. He was never one to turn down a dare.
***
On second thought, he should have turned this one down. Doing the Time Warp and having the seams of his tiny black bikini briefs split alarmingly down the middle was not exactly a part of his greater scheme for the night.
Remus was definitely going to get paid back for this.
Preferably tonight.