As Black As He's Painted
Response to #124: Worst Lube Ever.
by Minx

Author’s Note: Roche was an invaluable source of information about British garages, title ideas, and many other helpful comments.

 

“Hello?” Remus opened the door to the garage a fraction and peered in. Sirius was working on his motorcycle, which meant that the chances of being hit by a spell ricocheting off the chrome were a little too high for Remus’s liking.

“It’s all right,” called Sirius. “I’m just tightening the steering damper.”

Remus accepted that this gibberish meant that the coast was clear. He stepped inside and was hit by the smells of motor oil, petrol, and metal polish. Sirius was crouched next to a pile of parts, a wrench in his hand. He glanced up and smiled. “What’s up?”

“Oh, I just thought you might like a sandwich. You’ve been here for hours.” Remus put a plate next to Sirius.

“Thanks.” Sirius dropped the wrench, wiped his hands on a rag, grabbed the sandwich, and tore into it. Around mouthfuls, he said, “I’m glad we got a flat with a garage space.”

“Yes, I know.” Sirius had said that almost every day since they’d moved in six weeks ago.

“It’s definitely worth the extra money.” Sirius crammed the last bite into his mouth and licked his fingers.

“Good.” Remus looked at the empty plate. “Do you want me to make you another sandwich?”

Sirius wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh, no. That one set me up. Thanks. Um... You could stay and help me, if you want.”

Remus felt his eyebrows shoot up. Sirius hadn’t let anyone else touch the bike since he’d acquired it—he refused to say exactly how—several months before. “Really?”

“Well, I mean, if you’re busy with something else—” Sirius stood up.

“No, that’s fine. It’s just—what do you want me to do?” He really hoped Sirius wouldn’t ask him to do anything with the steering dumper. Damper. Whatever.

“You could hand me that bolt over there.” Sirius pointed to a jumble of parts on his work bench.

Remus bent over the pile. “Which one? This-- oi!” He knocked Sirius’s hand off his arse. “I should have known it was just a cheap ploy!”

Sirius laughed. “God, the look on your face when I asked you to help.” He put his hand back on Remus’s hip. “You looked utterly shocked.” He leaned up against Remus’s back and whispered in his ear. “I haven’t seen you that surprised since the time we transfigured all your robes into Chocolate Frogs.”

Remus tried to squirm away, but he was trapped between Sirius and the bench. “They all leapt out of my trunk and jumped away! I couldn’t get dressed until I’d caught them. And you three were no help at all!” He wriggled, and felt Sirius’s erection pressed up against him.

Sirius laughed. His breath tickled Remus’s ear. “Ooh, keep struggling. I love it.” He wrapped an arm around Remus’s waist and pulled him closer. “Mm... The door locks, you know.”

“We’re only a few minutes from the flat. And our bedroom. Which has a rather nice bed.” Remus shivered as Sirius bit his earlobe.

“That’s true.” Sirius licked his neck. “It would take, what, five minutes to get there? Four, if we ran up the stairs? Four minutes, when I could be doing this.” A bite to the side of his throat. “Or this.” He started unbuttoning Remus’s shirt. “Or this.” He slid his hand inside the shirt and caressed Remus’s chest.

“You have a point there,” Remus said, gasping a little. He aimed his wand at the door and spelled it shut and locked. Then he tried to turn around and face Sirius, but Sirius held him in place.

“Let me.”

Remus tensed a little. Sirius kissed his neck. “It’s all right, Moony. Just ... relax.” His hand was still inside Remus’s shirt, stroking his chest and stomach, easing down.

Remus closed his eyes. Sirius was pressed up against him, molded to him, so close it was as if Sirius wanted to climb inside him. Remus let his head fall back on Sirius’s shoulder, and inhaled the scent of love/desire coming off Sirius’s warm skin. “Oh...” He pushed forward into Sirius’s exploring hand. The hand unfastened his trousers and shoved them down.

Sirius kissed his cheek and, awkwardly, the corner of his mouth. “Okay?”

“Mm. Yes.” He turned his head and returned Sirius’s kiss. His body tingled with desire everywhere that Sirius was touching him. Sirius touched his cock, and he gasped. The layers of clothing still separating his skin from Sirius’s suddenly seemed unbearable. He reached around and clawed uselessly at Sirius’s jeans. “Sirius—”

A little chuckle against his cheek. “Just a second.” Sirius brought his hand to Remus’s mouth; Remus licked his palm, and the hand returned to his cock, fondling him. With his other hand Sirius started playing with Remus’s balls.

Remus rested his head on Sirius’s shoulder. Sirius kissed him deeply; somehow, Remus thought, he tasted like sunshine, all warmth and light. The caressing hand wrapped firmly around his prick and moved up and down. Without meaning to, Remus bit Sirius’s lip. Sirius laughed into his mouth, and moved his hand faster. Remus felt his entire body tense up as pleasure invaded him. He tore his mouth away from Sirius’s and came hard, trembling in Sirius’s arms.

“Mm,” Sirius murmured into his ear. “Love that. Love seeing it.” His hand was still on Remus’s cock.

“Good.” Remus caught his breath. “Any other brilliant ideas for how I can help you?” He reached behind him and grabbed Sirius’s thigh, squeezing it.

The hand on his cock squeezed back. “As a matter of fact, I am thinking of something else you could do for me.”

“Oh yes?” He wriggled his arse against Sirius’s erection.

“Yes.” Sirius’s voice had got very low. He pushed against Remus’s shoulder lightly; after a moment Remus understood and bent over the workbench, resting his weight on his hands. He heard the soft sounds of Sirius unbuttoning his fly. A touch to his arse made him shiver, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

“Wait here.” Sirius bent over and kissed the small of his back.

Remus closed his eyes and waited, listening to Sirius move about the garage. Then a slippery finger slid down his cleft and stroked over his opening. Remus gasped, and the finger entered him. A little shock, the unaccustomed pleasure of surrender, ran through him. Sirius moved his finger in and out; Remus could hear him panting. He leaned over Remus and bit his ear lightly. Remus felt another finger pushing against him, and pressed back onto it.

Sirius brought his free hand to Remus’s chest and pinched his nipples gently; Remus heard himself whining; Sirius moaned in response. The fingers withdrew slowly. Then Sirius’s cock was against him, pushing in carefully. Remus dragged in a deep breath and leaned back, taking Sirius in. They were frozen for a moment, Sirius buried inside him. The shockingly arousing sensation of being filled sent trails of heat through Remus.

He whined more loudly; Sirius pulled out and thrust back in. A slick hand, greasy with whatever Sirius had used to open him up, grabbed Remus’s prick and started stroking him.

“Moony,” Sirius was whispering in his ear. “Moony. Moony. Moony.”

“Mm,” was all that Remus could manage in return. He thrust forward into Sirius’s fist and back onto his cock. Sirius moved with him, withdrawing almost completely before sliding back in. Remus let his head fall forward; he stared down at his own hands, clenching on the edge of the bench. Sirius was kissing his neck now, still murmuring his name, and his hand on Remus’s prick had sped up. His other hand ran down Remus’s chest to his side, then took hold of Remus’s hip.

“Moony, I can’t—I—” Sirius stopped moving; his fingers dug into Remus’s hip. He was shaking, long slow shudders that Remus felt all along his body where Sirius was pressed against him. “Oh, God.”

Remus whined again. “Sirius!”

Sirius started fisting Remus’s cock. “Don’t move. Please,” he said hoarsely.

The edge of the bench was cutting into his hands. A drop of sweat trickled down his face and rolled off his chin. “Siri—”

“Yes. Just—” He heard Sirius draw in a gasping breath. Then Sirius began moving in and out of him again, deep thrusts that gradually became faster and faster. Remus felt completely overtaken, taken over by Sirius and by the waves of arousal washing over him. He let himself fall into pleasure, and came over Sirius’s hand with a moan as long spasms shook through him.

Sirius gasped again and grabbed Remus’s hips with both hands. “Moony. Moony,” he repeated, stroking in and out. “Moony...” And then he thrust in deeply, shoving Remus against the bench, and climaxed. He slumped over Remus’s back, kissing his neck idly.

After a few minutes Remus became aware of exactly how uncomfortable his position was. He stirred. Sirius didn’t budge. “Sirius.”

“Mm... Love you.” Another kiss fell on his hair.

“That’s nice. I love you too. Now get off me.” The bench was digging into his thighs painfully.

Sirius grunted in protest, but eased out and stood up.

Remus straightened up as well and bent over to haul up his trousers. “Fuck!” He stared in horror at his cock, which had somehow turned black. “Sirius! What did you--” He saw some smeared black marks on his thigh as well. “What is this?”

“Um...” Sirius picked up a moderately clean rag and offered it to him with a sheepish smile.

With trepidation, Remus craned his neck and looked over his shoulder. There was a black handprint on one arsecheek. “I really, really hope that you did not use motor oil,” he said, already half-resigned.

Sirius looked up at the ceiling.

“Dammit! Sirius, I’m covered with this stuff! And my—oh, fuck.” He reached around and felt between his cheeks. His fingers came away sticky with semen and motor oil. He looked at his hand in horror.

“If it’s any consolation,” Sirius said, “look at this.” He directed Remus’s attention to his own prick, also black.

“I still have it worse than you.” Vengefully, he reached forward and wiped his slimy hand on Sirius’s hair.

“Yuk! Moony!” Sirius scrubbed at his head with the rag he was still holding.

“Well, you deserve it. It’s going to be ages before I don’t look like I have the Black Death all over my knob!” Remus fastened his trousers. “What the hell were you thinking? Couldn’t you wait five minutes until we got to the flat? Where, I’d like to point out, we have a perfectly adequate supply of lubricant?”

Sirius dropped the rag and buttoned up his jeans. “I just—No, I couldn’t,” he said firmly. “You were here, and I was looking at you, and I was thinking about how I can just reach out and touch you any time I want to. I don’t have to—to pull you into a dark corridor just to hold your hand. I don’t have to sneak into your bed when everyone else is asleep. I don’t have to make an elaborate plan to meet you some place where no one will suspect what’s going on. I don’t have to wait, Moony. And then I couldn’t. I couldn’t wait to have you.” He reached out and touched Remus’s cheek. “I couldn’t wait,” he said again.

Remus’s heart was pounding. “Oh,” he managed. He stepped forward and put his arms around Sirius. “I see.” He lifted his face and kissed Sirius’s beautiful lips.

“So, am I forgiven?” Sirius whispered into his hair after the kiss ended.

“No,” Remus whispered back. “In fact, I think you’ll have to be very, very nice to me for a very, very, very long time to make up for this.”

“Okay.” Sirius’s breath stirred his hair. “Somehow I don’t think that will be a problem.”

They kissed again. As he breathed in, Remus smelled Sirius’s love and happiness. And, under it all, motor oil.